what is the deal with X-mas music

I work in a large home improvement store that is very orange. I have to say that the holiday season was a nice adjustment on the eyes- not so much orange. It was funny because immediately following Halloween the mother ship of this company decided it was time to play Christmas music. Why not, it got people to think holidays = gifts = spend money at the orange store. However, everyone else thought differently. Just about every other customer, store associate, and vendors like myself complained about the fact that Thanksgiving had not come yet and Christmas music was playing. They were so adamant about it – Thanksgiving gets ripped off! To make a long story even longer, the orange store decided by the next day not to play Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. The outcry must have been so great they might have loss money.

Thanksgiving came and went. Christmas music started playing again.

So why aren’t people concerned about the overly Christian emphasis of 80% of all Christmas music. Saying “Merry Christmas” was an intolerant statement that limited the Holiday season to Christians, it made people think that Christmas originated b/c of Christians… imagine that. But in the orange store the little people in the small boxes in the ceiling keep sining and singing about a teenage virgin giving birth to the Savior of the world. No one has a problem with that? Is it because it is the holidays and we don’t want to be like Scrooge?

Then I wondered, is it significantly easier for the world to accept Jesus as a baby and not a man? Is it easier to see him cuddled up in a manger that marks a happy ending of a fairy tale like story? Do people realize that this same baby is the person who is completely intolerant because he said, “I am the way, the truth, the life, no one comes to the father but through me.” Do people know that this same person who got angry in the temple and drove people out by overturning tables and making whips. Do people know that this same baby was also the one who died and came back to life, and for some reason that story is a little more difficult to swallow than a teenage virgin? Instead of “Mary did you know…” I am working on a song “People do you know…”

I noticed not only for the majority of the world, but also for myself, that it is a whole lot easier to believe in Jesus when we can contain him in a manger, wrapped in swaddling clothes. Yes this was the incarnation, God becoming flesh, but the incarnation does not stop there. God continued to barge on to the scene to change people. His entrance was not obtrusive, but his life, teaching, death and resurrection sure were and are.

The Savior of the world as a baby is easy to believe in because at that point because he has not shattered our personal agendas of how we think we need to be rescued. Him being the Savior of the world probably lost its fairytaleness when he talked about a kingdom that you could not see or touch. Or, when he talked about being last, a child, or servant.

I don’t know why but, but believing in someone who only gives what I put on a Santa list – a better job, peace, comfort, world peace, a good government – does not interest me. In fact, it does not save me. It ruins me. Beleiving in someone who can offer me life that is beyond comfort, money, status, and world peace is the path I want to take.

A cool magazine

Charcoal Dust

There was a time in my life when I followed the foot prints of my rabbi (teacher) that were embossed in charcoal dust. Jason Mitchell, unlike many, was a charcoal grill man. We spent many nights grilling to the sounds of Blues Traveler playing from his garage that sits right off his patio - where it all began ( a couple of years ago).
Months later when we (Chad, Ryan, Jason, Buhr, PJ - in spirit) were having a good time at Chad's house grilling for my surprise bachelor party. The climax of the night was seeing my new CHARCOAL WEBBER GRILL resting nicely on Chad's bed. The boys got me a new charcoal grill to carry on the message of charcoal grilling. It was at this point I began to be proud of taking on the responsibility of being the grill-man of the house.

Charcoal grilling is worth it on so many levels.
1. A big fire when you first light the charcoals
2. The anticipation of the charcoals getting at the right temperature - it is like the anticipation of beer fermenting.
3. The unique taste that comes from charcoal cooking.
4. The History - you have a sense that using charcoals is an ancient practice... so it is like returning to the roots of humanity.
5. The social aspect. While those coals are burning there nothing else to do other than talk.

Just the other day I visited my rabbi. I walked out on to that patio where remnants of charcoal dust still remain from cook outs we had years ago, but the altar does not. It was replaced with a modern gas grill. However, Jason enlightened me and said that it is borrowed. Yet, he still followed that by saying he was thinking about getting a gas grill. I felt betrayed. So I began to think through the many reasons why Jason, my rabbi, has lost the message of charcoal grilling.

1. Charcoal grilling is not the same without Hoochie Koochie Hot Sauce (only accessible in Texas ).
2. He covets Chad's metro gas grill that gives false messages of simplicity, quickness, and beauty.
3. He has lost ears for the message. There are no more young followers to take on the charcoal dust of the rabbi.
4. It is possible he has lost touch with the art.
5. The lazy-as# American mentality has set in As it does with us all at times.
6. His blog has demanded more of his time - www.clearlyvague.blogspot.com - link is to the right "Mitchell's Blog"
7. It is possible that he has associated the simplicity and sleekness of the MAC computers in to his grilling preferences.
8. He just does not care anymore
9. He thinks having a tank of propane fuel is more manly than having a paper bag of rocks.
10. The presence of a massive, stainless steel, out door BBQ, in his head, does not compare to having a 36 in circle for grilling.

My only hope with this is that the message of Charcoal grilling will live on for all those charcoal grillers out there, and that people will laugh at this ridiculous blog.

Final portion on this book

The seeking has not stopped, questions still surface, and it seems that vagueness is the only consistency. This is good. Seeking to understand the times and to find God mingling in the midst of what we think is chaos is our ultimate hope. Therefore, the conversation will continue to progress as we observe culture to agree on conclusions of how postmoderns view the Gospel as text in a pluralistic, personal, and spiritual society.

There is no question that emerging generations have or will have a different framework form which one will understand religion, spirituality, and God. This new way of thinking is developed from the massive immigration of people, who have not left their faith behind. Rather than a “Melting Pot” approach where everything gets mixed together to produce something that resembled the majority, it is a mosaic. Each religion/people is its own piece that contributes to the bigger picture. Therefore, Christianity is not the big picture anymore (if it ever was), which leads us to conclude that the Gospels are not the main source for morality. In our marginal society this threatens many and creates a problem – “What it means to be an evangelical Protestant” (Wells, 2005, p, 96). Without the Bible as the rubric for what is right and wrong, many people from this generation and emerging generations will view the Gospels like everything else – only a piece of the bigger picture. The Gospels, the story of Jesus, put on the same level as the Koran, the story Muhammad, and many other spiritual texts.

Without the Gospels on top or as majority, it is threatening and frightening to many, yet enlightening to a few. Without the Jesus and the Gospels, foundational to Christianity, as the norm it lessens the popularity, which I refer to as the death of the Pop Jesus, however some scholars refer to it as Post-Christendom. As a result, it trims the crowds and leaves us to see who is in it for real. There was many times in the Gospels that Jesus taught extraordinary subjects that lightened the crowds. What was left, were those who were committed in were not in it for some religious sake. So, what does it mean to be an evangelical Protestant? Definitions are very restricting, but commitment never lies.

“Americans, especially in the second half of the last century, often gave full rein to their individualism, adapting beliefs to their own needs and missing-and-matching as they went along” (Wells, 2005, p, 104). Not only in our pursuit of the “American Dream” have cut off the rest of the world, but in our pursuit of God as well. More and more the myth is believed that it is essential that people have a “personal” relationship with Jesus Christ. This has influenced, greatly, how we interpret and apply the Gospels. We interpret the Gospels only in light of what is happening in our lives. It is not completely bad to interpret the Gospels locally, but as the only perspective from which we conclude meanings of texts is boxing God in. In addition, when do we ever interpret and agree on the Gospels meaning collectively? And, if we cannot agree collectively, how do we respond and act? It is normal to allow the Gospels only affect us in personal ways. We ask what does this mean to me? Or, how can I now live different in light of this message? Rather than, what does this mean to us? And, how can we now live different in light of this message? The result of this is spiritual isolation.

Spiritual isolation is now normal. Today, “Spirituality, by contrast, has come to stand for what is private and internal. What this typically means is that those who are spiritual accept no truth which not experientially grounded” (Wells, 2005, p, 110). Mysticism has replaced the Pop-Jesus, and now the Gospels are a mere tool for us becoming spiritually moved. When we are not experiencing some mystical experience that could or could not be in our soul, we respond in frustration by saying something, “I am not getting fed enough when I read the Bible on my own, or when Pastor so-and-so speaks.” We equate truth with experience. Thus, the Gospels have no meaning unless there is a feeling, tangible evidence, or list of rules that authenticate the written words. Without this type of feeling, whether admittedly or not conclude that the Holy Spirit/God was not present. So, now the church is competing with our experiential, high stimulated, and emotion based culture/media to entertain people into believing the Gospels. If the Gospels are not a stimulant they are not true.

With this ethos of reading and applying the Gospels it has its detriments, which are obviously stated above, and it has its blessings. Wells said, “Spirituality travels light. It needs no buildings, not rituals, no professionals, or even sacred books” (Wells, 2005, p, 111). For many, including myself, this is a great movement. This is a reminder of the early church. Following Jesus in its simplest form. It is hard to be involved with any form of Christianity today and not attach it to a building, system, hierarchy, money, and some kind of legalized way of living. Therefore, the reaction today for people to experience something authentic is a cry for redemption in every aspect of life, not just religion.

As usual, proceeding away from this conversation probably evokes more questions rather than answers as to how present and emerging modern generations view the Gospels as text in a pluralistic, personal, and spiritual society. Why is it necessary to think on such things? God is incarnate through Jesus, Jesus is incarnate through the Church, thus it is necessary to think on how we are going to help reveal Jesus to each culture.

Sermon on the Mount Part III

[Matthew 6.19-24]

This passage from the Sermon on the Mount immediately raised several questions. These motivate some thoughts and interpretation. Therefore, the questions I had concerning this passage will help form a framework in which we can interpret and apply this passage.

First question, what are the treasures in heaven? I hate to admit this, but my first thought is that some think that storing up treasures in heaven means converting your unsaved friends so that they will be in heaven with you. This is probably not what Jesus was getting at. So, what was he getting at? Are the treasures in heaven peace, love, and joy? Are they tangible or abstract? It is possible that the mystery of the treasure is intentional, and the main message Jesus is communicating is that the treasures on earth do not compare. Do not waste time and energy with “earthly treasure.” Even further, it is possible that this is a play on word. Treasure only exists in the context of heaven; treasure anywhere else is a burden. Finally, it is Jesus’ ultimate hope that we long to have heaven on earth, that is where he wants our heart.

Second question, is storing up treasures directly related to what we look at? I think Jesus inserted this message about the eye being the source of light or dark in a person b/c that is where the battle starts. We are not to covet. We find what we look for, and what we find is a revelation of what is within us. Remember, the kingdom of God is something we cannot see or touch. It is within us.

Final Question, is it possible to love money and hate God? On the surface one might think this is not worth discussing. However, Jesus is alluding to the fact that people hate God. I know there are people who do not believe in God, who do not like God, and who choose not to follow God, but are there people who come out and say, “I hate God.” I have not met anyone, in the right state of mind, that admits to hating God. In today’s culture with several religions neighboring with each other, it is not politically correct to say that you hate God. While we may not say it, we express our true feelings to God all the time by serving that thing that our heart most desires. Jesus says we cannot serve two masters. We cannot have more than one desire of the heart. We cannot have both light and darkness occupy the same space.

Gospel ???

What are the Gospels? What are the Gospels to a certain group of people? Finally, what are the Gospels to the average (most likely Western) postmodern thinker? The questions continue to linger, but that does not stop the conversation. Therefore, the following will explore how postmodern people view the Gospels, interpret the Gospels, and what biases and presuppositions they/we bring to the Gospels when we interact with them as text.

For a typical postmodern the Gospels, as text, could be everything from history, to revelation, to absolute truth and moral instruction. However, even though they possess these virtuous qualities, the Gospels are nothing more than a religious tool that compliments the spiritual compartment of one’s life depending on which religion he/she prescribes to. “Fragmentation is, in fact, characteristic of our whole society, God is disengaged from society, at least in its public aspect, work from home, Church from society, the extended family from the nuclear by the mobility the modern economic order requires and, perhaps, by the divorce which modern life so often produces” (Wells, 2005, p, 78). For the average postmodern, religion/spirituality is a mere bullet point to life that does not involve itself in the narratives of government, academics, job, relationships, leisure, or health. Therefore, assuming that a particular postmodern person ascribes to Christianity or Catholicism the Gospels only have relevance within that religious context and nowhere else.

As far as the written message in the Gospels it is, as said before, history, revelation, absolute truth, and moral instruction, but only within a particular context because it was originated from a particular context. This means that the recorded life of Jesus by Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John is merely their perspective of the events they witnessed. Therefore, it is only absolute truth to Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and to all who believe it. In the same way, the Gospels are revelation, but a local revelation that is not universal to all. Thus, what is revealed from the text is subject to the reader, and that revelation has no bearing on others. Even further, since it is understood that it was revelation that the Gospel writers recorded this inspired history, the Gospels, as text, do not have to be revelation to the reader.

From this the postmodern individual forms a hermeneutic. Her conscious or unconscious lens through which she interprets the Scriptures is understood through this fragmented worldview that “rejects totalizing ‘stories’ and beliefs, insisting that our focus can only be local and perhaps only individual” (Wells, 2005, p, 81). Therefore, could this mean that there is no hermeneutic that can be characterized postmodern? It is possible. The result of our beliefs being localized has to mean that the way one interprets Scripture is strictly her own, or localized to a small group (race, location, social class, etc.). There can be no unifying hermeneutic for postmodern thinkers.

The implications of this could be drastic or freeing depending on the presuppositions and biases that evolve before one approaches the Gospel text. The non-existent hermeneutic is not good because it allows for any interpretation to be the right one. This is not something new; people have been doing this for a long time. As soon as the Scriptures were written in common vernacular, and printed for all to have, it not only freed the message to be spread, but it freed the message to change. As the culture shift becomes more prevalent, this practice of reading the Gospels becomes more prevalent and popular. The negative result of this is decentralization. Is it possible that the message could become too fragmented to impact?

However, there is an upside to the non-existent hermeneutic. The decentralization could be a blessing like the God confusing the languages at the tower of Babel. A centralized hermeneutic does not necessarily mean a centralized message, but a restricted message. Imagine if one group or person devised a hermeneutic accepted by all. Man would not be able to control the power of this. With a decentralized hermeneutic it allows for different cultures and perspective to utilize their biases and presuppositions that, collectively, could bring a greater understanding of the Gospels. For the postmodern, this is central. Thus, the presuppositions and biases, for the postmodern, would seek to be non-existent because they are aware of their localized perspective. As a result, when a postmodern encounter the Gospels is this sense, it will be a new adventure every time. However, this is a very optimistic view that assumes a postmodern is aware of and would seek to disengage or criticize her own biases. Since all is not redeemed yet, the biases, which postmodern people bring to the reading of Gospels, are the attempts to prove wrong the biases for which another person has interpreted the text.

Still the questions of the Gospels linger in the abyss as to what the Gospels actually are to the postmodern person, how they interpret them, and what are the actual biases and presuppositions they bring when they interact with them. But, it is a mystery that still keeps us seeking, which is a good thing. Thus, the questioning should never stop lest we stop seeking.

Feel free to comment!

Further reading that discuss different perspectives on interpreting Scripture:

Return to Babel: Global Perspectives on the Bible

Link:

http://www.amazon.com/Return-Babel-Global-Perspectives-Bible/dp/0664258239/sr=8-1/qid=1160854510/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/102-5717158-5260112?ie=UTF8

Sermon on the Mount Part II

[Luke 6.20-26]

Luke’s perspective on the Sermon on the Mount has a more intentional look at the “already not yet” theology of the Kingdom of God. The “already not yet” theology emphasizes the present struggle between good and evil. Kingdom has come, but has not fully arrived, thus there is deep tension that exists in the lives of those who strive to bring to the Kingdom to earth as it is in heaven. In this teaching, Jesus is explaining to his disciples that the cost now is well worth the return later. And the things that Jesus emphasizes as the cost are things that bring status according to values the world has set up. Therefore, his message is for the proud to be humbled, and for the humble to be encouraged.

So what does it mean for the Church to live this out – two things. First, it means hearing and understanding, and this could be difficult depending on what kind of hearer we are. If we are the proud this message it is very difficult to let this message resonate into our hearts. Often our response is very defensive where we justify not weeping, being rich, and being popular with everyone. However, if we are the humble we might find ourselves becoming somewhat nauseous because we know we have a lot and frequently want more, we seek popularity and status in all our social circles, and our hearts are often hardened and calloused because we distance ourselves from the difficult things that come with life having no real emotional connection with ourselves, others, and God.

Second, it is being the seed that was thrown on the good soil. Therefore, not being the seed where we hear and not understand, get motivated but soon fade, or get choked by the distractions the world offers. Being the seed thrown on the good soil means the Church is one who “hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.” (Matthew 13). Therefore, the Kingdom that is already-not-yet is exactly that. We listen, take in, live, and produce. As a result we are then able to see a glimpse of the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in heaven

Upside Down Kingdom

This is the first of several reflections I am having from Wells' book Above all Earthly Powers.

I work in the door and window department of two Home Depot stores. The doors that I clean, shift, and mark are nothing but plain slabs of wood, steel, or fiberglass with an engraving or piece of glass to accent. Most of them are white or brown. It is just a door. Then I stare into the picture on the label and see this door in my dream house. I never saw my dream house before, but I did the other day, and it was all because of a door. Ironically, I have taken an interest in doors. Therefore, now I look at the door and not only see a slab of substance, but an entry way into my kingdom.

We look at pictures, television and movies and see flawed ideas of wholeness and piece them together to suite our own fantasies. We have a drive to make our present reality match our fabricated fantasy that is taken from the media and pictures, and in order to do this we consume those we have to have to get one step closer. At the same time this act of consuming is stimulating, but is short lived (Wells 2005,p, 42). Much like the anticipation of receiving that shiny gift on Christmas morning, only to be slightly disappointed moments later when our desire to consume resurfaces. We make ourselves think we need something to improve the present state of our bodies, cars, and houses.

This is the drive behind our consumption. Pretty soon our value becomes based on what we have, and we only can have when we produce. Wells said, “And yet what has not been shaken is the belief that consuming is essential to the nurture of the self” (Wells,2005,p,41). The result is a fragmented society. The desire to produce, consume, and be stimulated has driven us farther apart from each other and God and into our selves. We are in a deep, dark whole when human nature has become defined by what we can produce. “This is no coincidence. The death of God is always followed by the death of the human being” (Wells,2005,p,48).

I fantasize about the Church and how it could change the world everyday. The Kingdom of God is a righteous fantasy in that it is here already here, but not yet. There is potential for progression to bringing the kingdom of God nearer and nearer. However, this fantasy is not obtained by a selfish and flawed agenda of how we are going to consume. The Kingdom of God on earth is a selfless and divine way of life that is achieved not by consumption but by giving and seeking to satisfy the needs of others before ourselves.

Therefore, the Kingdom of God to the modernist is a similar concept to modern society – sojourning to make reality match an ideal. But, the way of life is drastically different. Jesus and the Gospels is a harsh contrast to our made up ideas of wholeness and the way of achieving wholeness. It is no wonder the Kingdom of God is sometimes referred to as “The Upside Down Kingdom.”

This upside down kingdom confronts right in the face of our individualism, consumerism, and struggle with authority. The ways of Jesus are drastically different from our society demands of us. So much so, that it might be a sin to be American. I heard some people say if you want to find God go to the poor and the oppressed people of the world and you will find him. At first, I disagreed with this. Then I began to think about what Jesus says, and what the Scripture say. It is the humble, the meek, the oppressed people that are seeking and in need searching for God’s redemption. When are into ourselves, our flawed fantasies of wholeness, and consuming whatever it takes to achieve that flawed fantasy – we don’t need God, we don’t have time for God, we don’t need others, and we don’t have time for others. This leads me to think deeper about the early church when it says “they devoted themselves to the apostles teachings and fellowship, to the breaking of bread and the prayers… And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.” A community of faith in Jesus had gotten so committed to this kingdom living that they were able to put aside their own fantasies for the greatest one. I think the western church is too scared to release all their possessions because that is drastic and it might be uncomfortable.

blessed for being the least

The Sermon on the Mount Part I

The Roman Empire was large. It was dominating. It was scary. This is what was familiar to the group of people that was sitting next to Jesus on the day he decided to give them a lesson on true greatness. The culture all around these people was saying, take control, get as big as you can, have as much power as you can, show no sign of weakness. Is it possible this culture threatened them because they came from an unpopular, nomadic nation that struggles keeping their own land? Is it possible that Jesus had a political bent behind his words in the beginning of his sermon on the mount in Matthew 5.1-11? Is it possible that his words were more reaffirming rather than convicting and confrontational?

I wish I could have been there, because I love it when people say truth so boldly that it flies in the face of everything that is. I imagine myself sitting there smiling like a giddy schoolboy because this man has just put words to what I have been sensing. That sense of doubt, frustration because in order to exist and have meaning you have to gain power and step on everyone else to get it. I imagine being motivated to stand up for my country (Israel) and being proud of our smallness, the only ones who have one God, and weak because we help people and resolve fights. I imagine walking away and being blessed for being the least, which means being completely comfortable with who I am, what I do, and who I believe because of God and his righteousness.

South of the Mason-Dixon

I have been living in MD for one week now. It is starting to get more and more real, which means that I am beginning to see how different it is, or how different I am. There are several things that are different like:

- People hang out in parking lots a lot. We had trouble getting to our parking space in Hollywood video parking lot b/c we did not want to be rude and interrupt the the conversations people were having in the middle of the road.

- Dollar stores are really popular and really crowded.

- People talk different.

- I have no idea where I am going. It took me 1.5 hours to get home last night b/c I got lost. I need to get a map.

Some other things are different not b/c I am south of the mason-dixon, but b/c I have taken a drastic career change (sort of). Gina and I left good friends, good community, and a good place in an effort to move in the direction that we always talk, think about, and get frustrated about. We found a group of people that are after some of the same things, and it is good. However, this move meant quitting jobs that were good, moving for the second time within 6 months, moving hours away from school, leaving some good friends, living with the family for a time, and taking on a job that will teach me how to be content.

I have noticed about myself the following:

- When our stuff is chaotic, I am chaotic. I get cranky! Part of this might be b/c we started a new diet at the same time of this transition. If you ever move, DO NOT DO THIS!
- I have been sheltered for several years from the real working world. Being with normal people outside of the church. I tell them I am in seminary, and they think I am in some government program.
- I can get up before 7am

In the midst of all this chaos, God still appears. It is vague and quiet. But we have sampled freedom, encouragement, and experienced God's presence through provision and guidance. Have you ever experienced something and said "There is something else going on here" Yeah, that is happening more often since our decisions.

The other day I was at the MVA (MD"s DMV) getting our tags, and licenses, etc. taken care of. To make a long story short... We were one day before we got fined and penalized for a few hundred dollars, and we took care of it in one trip that should have been two.

Also, when we were there, I got a phone call, found out that I lost Gina's wallet that has ALL her information and money in it, called the guy who found it (by the way found it on the highway), and it ended up that he was coming to the same place...the MVA. He got there, and said "Dude, that is so weird. I had a feeling that you would probably be here, that is soooo weird"
... Something else is going on here

Anniversary

Well the remorse of our dead fish did not last long. It happened on the arrival of Gina and I's first wedding anniversary. So 365 days has passed since my wife and I became one. Here are some of my favorite memories and observations from the year.
- the honeymoon
- walking around on our honeymoon in snow flurries with only summer clothes
- saturday afternoons in the park reading chronicles of narnia
- Like PJ and his wife, Gina will always have to eat/drink whatever I am eating/drinking next to her
- the first year of marriage is fun!
- for us, God does not call one person and the other one has to follow, he calls both of us as one person.
- my favorite memory is us being sad together
- most traumatic memory is when we got in a car accident on the highway.
- I dont have it all figured out, even after reading "Five Love Languages"
- I think Gina is a prophetess - she speaks truth beyond so close to my heart and what I deal with. It is frightening to have God that close.
- Playing baseball in park. I bruised Gina's leg.
- Watching movies on a sunday afternoon.
- All the funny moments and stupid things that we do when we are sleeping. Like talking in our sleep, peeing the bed, moving funny, humming, patting the other person. There was night I was absolutely sure there was a spider crawling above my head. I woke up and started smacking all around me, and I even turned on the light.
- Our christmas pictures! check out the flickr link on the right.

Memories are essential to moving forward. If the effort is never made to remember, then the story of love is lost and we will not know where to go.

Death and Life

Recently our pet fish, Sushi, died. Many of you have gotten to meet Sushi. He was great. So I have decided to write him a little eulogy in memory of him.

Sushi, our relationship started with pity, and ended in pity. We had pity on him in the massive pet store that stored him in a small plastic cup with a little hole for air. If you ask me, the pet store was NOT so pet smart. We took him home, put him in a glass bowl, and then soon into a tank. We talked to him, We fed him. I tried to pet you. We made him angry by putting a mirror up to his tank (sushi was a Beta fish - Japanese fighting fish).

It ended in pity as we watch him die with a disease they call the "ick." It began to eat away at him, and we had pity. We thought about Euthanasia, but we were hoping, and Gina was praying that the meds we gave him would help. That week was bitter sweet. He were dying, but we began to reminisce of all our memories we had with him as our first pet. Because he was the first and because I thought of the cool name, we will never forget sushi.

We have moved on. Gina had pity on another Beta fish. This fish we got for free, and his name is tumor because he has a tumor growing out of his face. The not so smart pet store was just going to let him die.

| sleeping hasn't been the same |

My wife, Engelina...better known as Gina, has left me for a couple of days to visit California - a church trip. This is a totally new experience for me. There has been times when she was gone for a night, but it is five days this time... it really sucks! Along with sleeping, here are reasons why it sucks.
It is really lonely, especially at night time.

The house does not smell as good. Women smell better then men, it is a fact. So I cleaned today, that helped a little.

It is a little bit more chilly at night in the bet.

People start singing weird songs to you... Like This Bed Is Too Big With Out You by the Police

People have huge amounts of pity on you because they assume you cannot cook or anything without your wife. I had cereal and a Twix for dinner last night at 11pm.

Gina got hit on by the rental car guy. The guy went to the car and got his iTrip and let her borrow it the whole time they are there.

Also, she took the iPod, I am without my iPod for five days. Good thing I am not addicted to it.

Our pet fish, Sushi, seems really upset. Gina talks to him and spends more time with. She also feeds him a lot... I put him on a fast.

Saturday seems so far away.

Peace

| the kong |

I am really frustrated. Sunday afternoon my wife and I went to Blockbuster with coupon in hand ready to choose our rainy afternoon entertainment. The discussion in the car was whether to get King Kong or not. My wife was reluctant to rent the movie. Not because there has been a lack of excitement in our friends’ opinions of the movie. Not because she would have rather rented a chick-flick. And, not because of the film’s rating. She was reluctant because she thought that she might get nightmares from it. I was nice, and said, “I can watch it while you are away,” but she said, “ I don’t want to watch it without you.” I suddenly became confused. However, after the movie my thought was, “Is it even possible for people to get nightmares from cartoons?” (those of you who have seen the recent King Kong movie, it is not a cartoon)

So we went into the store, and checked out. However, the coupon did not work for some reason, so I had to spend a fortune to merely borrow a movie. I could have decided not to get the movie, but by that point it was like telling a child he could not go to the amusement park after waiting and anticipating for hours in a ticket line. It just does not happen, and so the credit card seems to walk right from the wallet and back without thinking twice. I left the store five dollars poorer, but giddy as a schoolboy because we are about to watch King Kong after weeks of waiting and debating.

We watched the movie, and then we continued to watch the movie. After that, we continued to still watch the movie. The movie was so long we almost had to call off work the next day. I am afraid for when I will have to talk to God. I can see it now, God and I are walking and he looks at his watch and says, “You did pretty good, but a huge chunk of your life was wasted on that horrible movie Kong,” and I will respond, “Forgive those movie producers, they had no idea what they were doing.”

As much hype as this cartoon got, you would think they would have had people help create a film that might make it realistic. Anyway, didn’t this movie already exist? Woman falls in love with beast, town tries to kill beast, and woman gets upset. Besides the happy ending, I think Disney should sue for the copying of their cartoon.

Was it a cartoon? I know you can teach a monkey to do a lot of things. Grant it, they have been in several commercials lately, but come one, kung fu, karate, and the English language? My wife and I were getting so frustrated we began to yell at the movie, “Come on, get on with it! You got to be kidding me! Are you serious!” But the TV kept saying to me, “MMMMMMM, ROOOOOOAAAAAAAR!” Also, there were moments I imagined the conversation of the special affects artists creating the movie. One says, “How should we have Kong defeat this dinosaur?” A moment of silence, then abruptly the other says, ”I know I know, we can have him bite his tongue off, and then snap his jaw, and then play with it like a broken Jurassic Park figurine.”

In the end, we will say that we were disappointed, but the truth is… without the sour, the sweet is not as good (Vanilla Sky the movie). Also, movies are art, and the expressions are subject to the artists and the opinions are subject to the observer who experiences the artwork. Depending on the experience in which the artwork is viewed, and the observer herself, the masterpiece can exist as something totally awful or as something totally beautiful. Similar to a lot of things in life, but the one that comes to mind, is the church. This can be viewed in many different ways... so how do you see it, comment and let me know

Puerto Rican Jesus

The other night at youth group, Mike, was the only person that showed from our small group. So, I decided to take advantage of the opportunity. But, let me explain what small group has been like since the fall. I love the guys who are in my group, but as far as group dynamics and accomplishing something as a group, we have not been so good at that.
If you knew Mike, not having other people there in the group would not discourage him from being funny, or getting off topic. He is a tenacious Puerto Rican comedian. I love that... I guess our time together was different because I did not try so hard.

Since it was only us we snuck into the main auditorium of the church. I tried to turn on the lights, but it was computerized and way too complex for me to figure out. Mike tried punching all the buttons at once. I dont blame him, he is a boxer. We continued to walk into the dark, massive, room. Mike said, "What are you doin? I am scared. I cant see where you are. Are you going to attack me." I said, "No, sit down." So we sat there in the dark, massive room. Then I said, "Lets have complete silence for 5 minutes." I acted like I had a plan the whole time, secretly I just wanted him to be quiet for once (by the way if read this he would be laughing because he knows he is like this... we are boys).

We sat for 5 minutes in the dark, then we talked about sitting in the dark. It was a great conversation. Then we talked about some other stuff. Generally, it was about God, love, life, Jesus, karma, etc. That conversation was about ten minutes. Then we prayed. Mike prayed for me, and he encouraged me a lot. I prayed for MIke, and I dont know if I did anything for him. But I prayed that the Holy Spirit would challenge, prod, comfort, and take over Mike's life so much that anyone who he encountered would see a Puerto Rican Jesus. He laughed in the middle of the prayer, I chuckled, but I was completely serious.We stumbled into the lobby because our eyes were adjusting to the bright light, and we talked about how that was the first small group where we actually did something.

My nail

Remember when I told the story about me stepping on the nail on Demo day...it was in Feeling Manly. Well here is the nail, and this is the actual nail. Does that look like blood?

In Memory of...

I just got finished listening/air jamming to Come Sail Away by the Styx after youth group by myself. This was in memory of my boys who I used to jam with at LCBC. It is not the same!

My toothbrush

My toothbrush
Originally uploaded by jj smith.

I have discovered a beautiful thing. However, I am embarassed of it ...a little. I have discovered electric tooth brushes. Not, that I have never seen them... I have never used them. This experience is invigorating.

Thousans of little fiingers spinning round and round creating a constant message for the oral cavity. The vibration, the bubbles, the annoying sound of the little motor, it all adds to the experience of brushing teeth that I have never felt as long as I had teeth. It seems the opposite is true in the case of the electric toothbrush - I want to brush my teeth longer and more often. Rather than shorter and less frequent b/c it is brushing more per second than manual tooth brush. I try to get Gina to try it, but she has some thing against using the same toothbrush... I dont know.

I am embarassed b/c this is one of those things that is completely luxury. Something as simple as brushing my teeth, I fell into the trap of needing something bigger, better, and easier.

Peace
josh

PS if some advertising person reads this and wants to use this for a comercial... at least give me a free toothbrush

Sex & Love

This is obvious to us. When we read the Scriptures we see a lot of scenes that involve someone having sex with someone they should or should not. On the surface it is really confusing because we see several sexual relationships that are completely gross and inappropriate, but never get confronted in Scripture.

However, recently I have experienced and learned something extravagant about love and intimacy in the Bible. it is in the the Song of Songs. There are several interpretation to this book and several proposals to the structure. I do not want to get tangled up in this, but I want to merely share what my perspective has been.

While a lot of the Scriptures uses explicit, sexual language for Israel's relationship to God, this same language is used in Song of Songs, but not with the same context. It is communicating an intimate relationship between man and woman, and can be illustrated to the love relationship between God and his followers. With that being said, this is a sexy book/song and it has helped our marriage.

There are so many empty messages of sex and intimacy both in culture and church. How many times have you heard Song of Songs taught, or heard a teaching about how sex was meant to be? Intimacy is a beautiful thing that encourages mystery, searching, adventure, closeness, and fascination. I think, because we have not spoken and taught about this. Thus, that is why the media is getting all the attention, but is missing the real message of intimacy.


Changes...
- Complementing my wife a lot more.
- Living with my wife as my fascination and not the movies, internet, or fantasies
- Covenantal Love between my wife and I and God.
- Enjoying and love... I just watched Elizabethtown
- Working at marriage and not just letting it happen

As most of you know i work with teenagers, and I am trying to think how to teach the intimacy, sex, the Song of Songs to teenagers in way that is not offensive and crossing the boundaries, but in a way that is real and honest about God's language and experience for intimacy..sex.

Any ideas?

Feeling Manly

Demolition work is the best...sometimes. I was working with Dan, Mark, Larry, Chet, and some other guys renovating a youth building. I was the youngest most ignorant guy there. They all knew their electric, framing, plumbing, and I knew my ability to swing a hammer and eat donuts. It was a lot of fun. We got to destroy. There is not too many times in life when you get to do this ...on purpose. But in the midst of destroying, I stepped on a nail. Here I am with a bunch of guys, and I am sitting off to the side wiping the blood off with my sock.
Then, I called the doc about getting tetnis (? spelling) shot, and the office was closed - understandable. But in case of emergencies they have an Answering Service. So I talked to the Answering Service, and asked them about getting a shot and
she said, "I dont know I am just the Answering Service, I can take a message for you."
I said, "But that wont help me until Monday"
she said, "Yeah."
I said, "Ok"
It is interesting that the Answering Service is for emergencies, but only act as a live voicemail. Peace
josh

Dust i am... The Lenten Journey

You all know, all two of you who read my blog, that I have given up meat for Lent. It has really changed my life the last couple of weeks. I avoid looking in the freezer because that is where my meat collection is, and it tempts me. Today I had my first thoughts of just giving up on it. I thought, "What does it matter?"

Other Lent experiences have been me getting sick. Last week I was in bed for two and a half days with the stomach flu. That was disgusting. I have not been sick like that in a long time. My wife did a great job of taking care of me. This week I got the cold. And right now I am sitting here sweating when all I am doing is typing. There is something wrong with me. However, the good news is... I dont have Diabetes. I got my glucose checked and I dont have it.

Anyway, all of this sickness and sacrifice has reminded me that I am very frail and mortal. It reminds of the worst thing ever said to a human in the Bible, I think. God said to the humans (all two of them), "for dust you are and to dust you will return." I am dust, nothing but dust.

Today as I was working in the warehouse, I was listening to my iPod. I was listening to the bible, specifically the book of Psalms. So along with my sickness, I realized the dirtyness of my heart. I was listening to God speak, and it hurt because I realized that I am dust.

Realizing the my dustiness has helped me appreciate redemption.
A prayer from the book of Common Prayer.

Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, Worthily lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness, may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

I love meat

Meat is a beautiful thing. I was raised in a family that was knowledgable on how to eat really good, that is eat good food, and meat was essential. As the Lent season was approaching I was racking my brain for something to give up, as if it is hard. I think it is more of strategizing to give up something, but not something too precious. So I was hanging out with my good friiend, trendy Scott, and he mentioned that he was going to give up meat. I said, "Lets journey together with this."


For some this is really easy. But for me, it has been an interesting path of loss. Meat has always been essential for every meal. It really is a change in lifestyle, and it is a journey filled with moments emptiness, but that is the point.


Even in the simple practices of eating meals, I have realized that I search for fillment in the contents that are given and prepared... normally, meat completes the meal, and completes me. I am reminded of when God provided manna (bread) and quail (meat) and gave specific instructions of how much to take and when to take. There were a few that tried to take more than what was required, and the food got infested with worms. Man does not live on bread alone, but on the very Word of God. Satisfaction comes from God, not meat, not bread, and giving up things for Lent brings me near to God b/c I am stripped of this one thing, and in the sacrifice of that I seek to be alive by God.
Peace
josh

community

I know, I know ... it has been way too long since i have posted. To be honest I go through blog-swings. It is very similar to mood-swings. Just how moods toward poeple, places, experiences, and things change from one extreme to the next. So does my blogging change. I will blog constantly to be in like flyn, but the tides will quickly change.

Anyway, I wanted all those to know that I have been experiencing one of the greatest freedoms... community. My wife and I have some friends now in this place that we live and we get together weekly. It is one of those gatherings that you love, but you think about if you invited someone else... they would think you are weird. I am delusional sometimes b/c I create scenarios in my head. So here is the conversation I imagine when I think about asking people to come to our gathering.

Stranger - what are you doing friday?
Me - well I am hanging with some friends over Steve & Lois'
Stranger - I never heard of that bar?
Me - it is not a bar, they are people, and they have a home.
Stranger - What are you doing at home with friends on a friday?
Me - singing, sharing our life stories and some of our secrets, praying, reading and talking about the bible, being the church...
Stranger - is it a cult?
Me - sort of.... NO!
Stranger - cool, well maybe next week we can do something.

That is my imagined conversation. It is purely fictional, and I am finding that my delusional scenarios in my head are as far from reality as my pet fish Sushi is from real sushi. This small community of riff-raff, is a community of stories that are colliding and resonating with each other. It is not a place where difference is accepted, but it is a place where difference is encouraged, hoped for, and initiated. It is unity in diversity.

This is very exciting. We are committed to being the church and not going to church, and people are coming who do not go to church and they love it. We are not being seeker sensative, we are loving and it is working better than what I have ever experienced and learned. All I can say is that, God's kingdom is backwards. What we think will make it work is often times the thing that makes it fail.

Hard Knock Life

Right now, when I am writing this, I am sitting here watching Annie with my wife and niece, Madison (from Gina’s side of the family). Gina’s dad just joined us as well. Do you remember in the beginning of the movie when all the little girls sing “It’s a Hard Kock Life,” yeah that is my favorite part of the movie, and the only part that I like because it reminds me of the Jay-Z song.

We are here in Baltimore enjoying our Christmas time with the family. It is great! It started with Christmas Eve, we came in last night after three church services, WaWa subs, and a 2 hour trip. We arrived and crashed a party that was still bumping at 11 o’clock.

Then on Christmas day we got up and opened some gifts. It was great because it was my first Christmas that I got to experience the holiday traiditions of another family. For 22 years I experienced Christmas with my family and my family only. I loved it and still do. Actually, I was a little disappointed that I was not going to participate in the normal traditions with my own family. But seeing something experiencing something different is really good for the soul.

So I guess I will tell you what made it really good. We gave to each other more than the other expected, random people from the local church and community popped in and joined us, we ate food, we laughed, and then we tried on and played with the clothes and toys we got. This is a picture Ben, my brother, who tried on the clothes of his brother Jimmy.




Did you ever have one of the occurrences that was really cool, but was really bad at the same time? You know, when you see something wrecked car and you were like “Cool!” then you realized that people suffered somehow through that. Well this happened to me. I was sleeping and my phone rang, I did not pick it up, then Gina’s phone rang and she did answer it. She jumps out of bed and run in and says to Ben “There is a fire in Reisterstown,” Ben ran out of the house and I walked to the toilet saying “I wish I was a firefighter.” Anyway, the fire was really big. It destroyed 76 units in a old folks home, but no one was hurt thank goodness. But I am sure a lot of people lost a lot of stuff that meant a lot to them. So, later on in the day we went down to see what was going on. It was great because Gina’s dad is really high up in the fire department, so all it took was a daddy phone call from Gina and he sent someone to take us down there. We passed up the all the News cameras and vehicles to the scene of the fire. I tried to get on the News, but I failed.