Feeling Manly

Demolition work is the best...sometimes. I was working with Dan, Mark, Larry, Chet, and some other guys renovating a youth building. I was the youngest most ignorant guy there. They all knew their electric, framing, plumbing, and I knew my ability to swing a hammer and eat donuts. It was a lot of fun. We got to destroy. There is not too many times in life when you get to do this ...on purpose. But in the midst of destroying, I stepped on a nail. Here I am with a bunch of guys, and I am sitting off to the side wiping the blood off with my sock.
Then, I called the doc about getting tetnis (? spelling) shot, and the office was closed - understandable. But in case of emergencies they have an Answering Service. So I talked to the Answering Service, and asked them about getting a shot and
she said, "I dont know I am just the Answering Service, I can take a message for you."
I said, "But that wont help me until Monday"
she said, "Yeah."
I said, "Ok"
It is interesting that the Answering Service is for emergencies, but only act as a live voicemail. Peace
josh

Dust i am... The Lenten Journey

You all know, all two of you who read my blog, that I have given up meat for Lent. It has really changed my life the last couple of weeks. I avoid looking in the freezer because that is where my meat collection is, and it tempts me. Today I had my first thoughts of just giving up on it. I thought, "What does it matter?"

Other Lent experiences have been me getting sick. Last week I was in bed for two and a half days with the stomach flu. That was disgusting. I have not been sick like that in a long time. My wife did a great job of taking care of me. This week I got the cold. And right now I am sitting here sweating when all I am doing is typing. There is something wrong with me. However, the good news is... I dont have Diabetes. I got my glucose checked and I dont have it.

Anyway, all of this sickness and sacrifice has reminded me that I am very frail and mortal. It reminds of the worst thing ever said to a human in the Bible, I think. God said to the humans (all two of them), "for dust you are and to dust you will return." I am dust, nothing but dust.

Today as I was working in the warehouse, I was listening to my iPod. I was listening to the bible, specifically the book of Psalms. So along with my sickness, I realized the dirtyness of my heart. I was listening to God speak, and it hurt because I realized that I am dust.

Realizing the my dustiness has helped me appreciate redemption.
A prayer from the book of Common Prayer.

Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, Worthily lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness, may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

I love meat

Meat is a beautiful thing. I was raised in a family that was knowledgable on how to eat really good, that is eat good food, and meat was essential. As the Lent season was approaching I was racking my brain for something to give up, as if it is hard. I think it is more of strategizing to give up something, but not something too precious. So I was hanging out with my good friiend, trendy Scott, and he mentioned that he was going to give up meat. I said, "Lets journey together with this."


For some this is really easy. But for me, it has been an interesting path of loss. Meat has always been essential for every meal. It really is a change in lifestyle, and it is a journey filled with moments emptiness, but that is the point.


Even in the simple practices of eating meals, I have realized that I search for fillment in the contents that are given and prepared... normally, meat completes the meal, and completes me. I am reminded of when God provided manna (bread) and quail (meat) and gave specific instructions of how much to take and when to take. There were a few that tried to take more than what was required, and the food got infested with worms. Man does not live on bread alone, but on the very Word of God. Satisfaction comes from God, not meat, not bread, and giving up things for Lent brings me near to God b/c I am stripped of this one thing, and in the sacrifice of that I seek to be alive by God.
Peace
josh

community

I know, I know ... it has been way too long since i have posted. To be honest I go through blog-swings. It is very similar to mood-swings. Just how moods toward poeple, places, experiences, and things change from one extreme to the next. So does my blogging change. I will blog constantly to be in like flyn, but the tides will quickly change.

Anyway, I wanted all those to know that I have been experiencing one of the greatest freedoms... community. My wife and I have some friends now in this place that we live and we get together weekly. It is one of those gatherings that you love, but you think about if you invited someone else... they would think you are weird. I am delusional sometimes b/c I create scenarios in my head. So here is the conversation I imagine when I think about asking people to come to our gathering.

Stranger - what are you doing friday?
Me - well I am hanging with some friends over Steve & Lois'
Stranger - I never heard of that bar?
Me - it is not a bar, they are people, and they have a home.
Stranger - What are you doing at home with friends on a friday?
Me - singing, sharing our life stories and some of our secrets, praying, reading and talking about the bible, being the church...
Stranger - is it a cult?
Me - sort of.... NO!
Stranger - cool, well maybe next week we can do something.

That is my imagined conversation. It is purely fictional, and I am finding that my delusional scenarios in my head are as far from reality as my pet fish Sushi is from real sushi. This small community of riff-raff, is a community of stories that are colliding and resonating with each other. It is not a place where difference is accepted, but it is a place where difference is encouraged, hoped for, and initiated. It is unity in diversity.

This is very exciting. We are committed to being the church and not going to church, and people are coming who do not go to church and they love it. We are not being seeker sensative, we are loving and it is working better than what I have ever experienced and learned. All I can say is that, God's kingdom is backwards. What we think will make it work is often times the thing that makes it fail.

Hard Knock Life

Right now, when I am writing this, I am sitting here watching Annie with my wife and niece, Madison (from Gina’s side of the family). Gina’s dad just joined us as well. Do you remember in the beginning of the movie when all the little girls sing “It’s a Hard Kock Life,” yeah that is my favorite part of the movie, and the only part that I like because it reminds me of the Jay-Z song.

We are here in Baltimore enjoying our Christmas time with the family. It is great! It started with Christmas Eve, we came in last night after three church services, WaWa subs, and a 2 hour trip. We arrived and crashed a party that was still bumping at 11 o’clock.

Then on Christmas day we got up and opened some gifts. It was great because it was my first Christmas that I got to experience the holiday traiditions of another family. For 22 years I experienced Christmas with my family and my family only. I loved it and still do. Actually, I was a little disappointed that I was not going to participate in the normal traditions with my own family. But seeing something experiencing something different is really good for the soul.

So I guess I will tell you what made it really good. We gave to each other more than the other expected, random people from the local church and community popped in and joined us, we ate food, we laughed, and then we tried on and played with the clothes and toys we got. This is a picture Ben, my brother, who tried on the clothes of his brother Jimmy.




Did you ever have one of the occurrences that was really cool, but was really bad at the same time? You know, when you see something wrecked car and you were like “Cool!” then you realized that people suffered somehow through that. Well this happened to me. I was sleeping and my phone rang, I did not pick it up, then Gina’s phone rang and she did answer it. She jumps out of bed and run in and says to Ben “There is a fire in Reisterstown,” Ben ran out of the house and I walked to the toilet saying “I wish I was a firefighter.” Anyway, the fire was really big. It destroyed 76 units in a old folks home, but no one was hurt thank goodness. But I am sure a lot of people lost a lot of stuff that meant a lot to them. So, later on in the day we went down to see what was going on. It was great because Gina’s dad is really high up in the fire department, so all it took was a daddy phone call from Gina and he sent someone to take us down there. We passed up the all the News cameras and vehicles to the scene of the fire. I tried to get on the News, but I failed.